"I’m sorry, I’m awful, I’ve just felt so terribly destructive all week. It’s awful. I’m horrible."
"I was told that time would heal all wounds. But what exactly do you do on days when it feels like the hands on your clock have arthritis?"
"The culture doesn’t encourage you to think about such things until you’re about to die. We’re so wrapped up with egotistical things, career, family, having enough money, meeting with the mortgage, getting a new car, fixing the radiator when it breaks—we’re involved in trillions of little acts just to keep going. So we don’t get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives and saying: Is this all? Is this all I want? Is something missing?"
"The real challenge in my life, the real hardship is me. It’s always been me. As long as I can remember I’ve never not been afraid. Afraid of failure, of letting people down, hurting people, getting hurt. I thought if I kept my guard up and focused on other things, other people, if I couldn’t even feel it, well then no harm would come to me. I screwed up. When I shut out the pain, I shut out everything. The good and the bad. Until there was nothing. It’s fine to just live in the now, but the best part about ‘now’ is there’s another one tomorrow. And I’m gonna start making them count."
"I am afraid. I’m afraid of everything. I’m afraid of the dark, of closed-in spaces, of being alone and of getting too close. I’m afraid that I’ll never again have the life I’ve always known, my feet in the dust and my heart full. I’m afraid of being alive; I’m afraid to die."